~*Forever Dreaming*~

not sure why this is hard to write, been staring here for a few weeks, since I finally came back online after about a month hiatus from the internet, computer, and even my own cell phone. what caused it? stuff that happened/not happened at the baptism (bro wanting more money, making homophobic jokes to our uncle, paying only attention to his kid's mother's side of the family, and expecting all was well even when none of us showed up to the park despite bringing goodie bags and FOOD that morning), plus personal health relating to my PCOS. i was at an all time low in my life and not even fandom for a bit could make it better.

but along with seeing a doctor and getting some stronger pills, and an impromptu comment party on my IJ from my fellow snupiners (seriously guys, you don't know how much that made me better. *hugs*), i thought i was well enough to come back. so i've been lurking, mainly in chat and reading flist... i may not be commenting but i'm am reading and trying to keep up y'all. -D this whole thing kinda battered my muse and despite getting so many awesome plot bunnies/tribbles, i just keep staring at blank pages and canvases...

still jobless but not for lack of trying, and planning to go back part time to school next semester. other than that was able to go to y-con to take my mind off things and had a relatively good time. been keeping up with lots of shows so if y'all want to chat about shows and such just comment or hit me up on aim/msn/yahoo/irc... XD (shows i follow: tbbt, himym, acidentally on purpose, ncis: la, flash forward, castle, white collar, v, cougartown, kinda eastwick, modern family, smallville for some reason, numb3rs... and i think that's about it lol)

And finally a meme....

1.comment with any character you know I've written.
2. receive three bits of trivia about their sexuality: practices, preferences, experiences, fantasies, kinks, etc.
3. Profit!

Wrote this in class today. ^_^
Warning big image under cut, hope my handwriting's legible.
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"A writer is someone for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people."

--Thomas Mann

So much to do so little time. Been wanting to blog for a while but always kept putting it off heh. I don't remember much of what I wanted to blog about so sorry for this being just a tad bit rambly. Been sick & anemic the past few weeks but luckily some combo of pills from my mom's Herbalife products seemed to have done the trick. I should hopefully be okay. Still need to make a clinic appointment to find out why it's happening but if my previous health history has anything to say, it's just the same thing but in a flare up I guess.

Some days I'm surprised how quickly the time passes, and I wonder why I'm not getting anything done. Of course sleeping half the day away doesn't help and I do have to work on that before school starts. This upcoming semester will be a doozy but hopefully I'll be able to survive it. The only two classes I'm looking forward to is my online Astronomy class and my Creative Writing class. I'm hoping that will jumpstart me into writing longer original fiction and finally get a book underway. I've already read 3/4 of the textbook.

The above quote comes from that textbook. It struck me hard and seemed to answer my everlong questions of why I've had such terrible motivation to write, yet can see people with no talent write effortlessly. So hopefully I shouldn't be too pressured about writing and just be able to do it. We'll see. =D

I get the bunnies everyday so I'm not without. As always I have a couple of secret projects that I'm working on, one should be complete soon so I can't wait to show y'all it. ^_^ I'm also hoping to reignite a few old projects, mainly two comms that I co-modded and co-founded. That won't be for a few weeks to come. And of course working on my livelongnmarry auctions, still gotta talk to the people that i won from but yeah... been blanking to do that.

Right now trying to figure out how to best display a six-page fan-comic I drew. I did it originally for the LESS exchange but I had only finished like a week or two /after/ the masterlist came up. So yeah, I failed at getting it done in time. I think I've failed too many exchanges so I don't think I'll be joining a non-snupin one for probably a year or two as punishment... Why I still the snupin ones? I am waaay more likely to finish them as I hang out in the chatroom daily and the people there are really my lifeline so I can't fail them. Back to the comic... I'm thinking maybe upload to deviantart and linking that way... Or make a pdf or zip. I just want to offer easy navigation... Hmm will ponder it for a bit longer.

Thinking of joining a friend's forum RPG which has a neat premise of two worlds (human and magical) crashing into becoming one. I just haven't rp'd in so long and this type even longer. I'm thinking for maybe one of the characters to be a Snape type character and be great to find someone to play a Lupin/Werewolf type character but as they'd have to be OCs essentialy, probably be tougher to play out. If not, I can go to my default Aiyana chara whom I haven't used since high school, hehe.

Hmm... that's about it I think. Will end with two funny quizes under the cut. I'm surprised I got who I got for the first one but Snape & Lupin were not too far behind. I may have gotten Lupin if I had said I liked transforming men lol.

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Finally done with summer session, yay! I aced my Poly-Sci Final but because I bombed the midterm I'll only be getting by with a C. And only cause the teacher knows I understood my material, as my real grade should have been a D. So thank god for that! I'm also sure I aced my other class's final but I was bad with the assignments so we'll see. Least I'll get a few weeks of sleeping in before the new semester starts.

Health wise, feels like it was a few years ago with my supposed PCOS acting up again and I'm losing too much blood. I had a package of BC still leftoever from when I was insured under my mom but that's slowly coming to an end. Going to the school clinic to see if i can get some from there so that way I can start regulating this again... My mom's afraid it's something worse with me but I'm afraid to go to a new doctor, especially general hospital... when i was so used to Kaiser (despite all the horror stories from them).

So it finally seems like the landlady wants to spruce up the house and sell it off. an inspector's coming in tomorrow to see what needs to be taken care off. personally, this decrepid house needs to just be bulldozed and start over again. my mom's thinking of trying to get a real house in Millbrae/Burlingame area for about $1800. It's almost double our current rate (but it's a full house with three bedrooms) but she thinks with it we can get rid of our storage which would help out. My dad's trying to get it so we don't have to move. I don't mind moving, obviously we can't afford the city, but if we move i *need* to have my own room. and if we stay, least shit will be fixed. well, in theory.

Still not liking how serious my mom's into with all this Jehovah Witness crap, but after a talk with Pip, I understand why it happened. It just happened to be there when we lost my niece, her granddaughter, to the government. I only wished it was a Catholic person that had helped her out instead. I mean, I'm tolerant to all religious and non religious beliefs. I'm a lazy Catholic with spiritual tendencies. It's just... *shrug*

Allrighty, time to do a quick few memes and then help my mom in writing up her first resume so that maybe she can get the managorial position at the deli at molliestone's. =D Wish us luck!