~*Forever Dreaming*~

So tomorrow's my birthday. I'll be 26. I figure it's been too long of too many just archived twitter messages and thought a real post was needed. Well, I've been wanting to post for a few weeks now, of various things. Of the major meta-ing i wanted to do when i jumped into the nu!trek fandom (yep, star trek has been keeping my attenting for a bit now despite having originally disliked the new movie), of a recent death in the neighborhood but it was like family, of the ups and downs i go through daily and, of course of my birthday tomorrow. Nothing special as it is the middle week and lately my mind hasn't been able to comprehend PLANNING AHEAD (and with what's tentatively planned for July, that's a bad thing). My parents took the day off but mum has a doctor's appointment and she got called in for jury duty. dunno really why my father took the day off as he didn't have anything really planned either. But he needs the rest when he can so I don't mind.

Pretty much didn't pass any of my classes in the spring as I kinda just gave up at spring break. i think part of it was crushed that i couldn't make up a class and it would take me longer to get out of City.

Had planned to take one class in the summer but never got around to it. had planned to get a job too but as i'm too selfish to not cancel my july plans, and not being able to find the kind of job i wanted (earlier on, haven't checked recently) jobless. Well, I have a web design commission, but dunno how much I'll get paid for that. I'm just hoping it'll cover my plane ride to LA for a masq that my mum doesn't want me to go to cause she's probably babied me too much in life she doesn't know how not to freak out when i do things with out them (in the rare times that I do do such things).

Told pip the other day I wanted to take a break (which is funny since tech haven't i been on break since the better part of the year?) and not have to worry about school... i'm so freaking close yet feeling so far. but i'm seriously sick of school. there were classes i enjoyed, and Japanese was fun but since I can't take any more till i'm in a different school it feels like why bother... but damn it if a degree didn't help me get the jobs i want.

i wish i had the proper discipline to freelance. i think i could at least make an okay income freelancing and networking. but i'm so lazy, it's really ridiculous and sad y'all. i have the ideas, but no energy to write... to get that novel i promised myself years ago i'd have written before i turned 26...

But tomorrow I'll be 26 and a quarter of my life will be done and what have I done with that first quarter? Nothing that'll keep me going for the next. Don't mind me, just being a bit melodramatic atm.

As much as they hurt me, I miss my old friends. With them I had this illusion of a great close friendship, of believing that people not my family were thinking of me on a daily basis (and i them), and of being cared for in a way that only a physical frienship could. I still have a bit of that, luckily, with some of my HS friends and I'm so grateful for that. And I know that if not for y'all, my online friends, I dunno where I'd be right now, that I wouldn't have the happieness I do have (thank you so much for being here). I don't think I've healed from their breakup so I cling to the ones I have and only make half the effort I used to because I'm afraid anymore and I'll be once again that way-too-clingy-why-are-we-friends kind of person that Tony & Cory and a few other people accused me of being back in the day.

Ugh, maybe I need to get laid... (hah, like that'll happen the way I look) Maybe I just needed to get this out so that hopefully I can sleep again like a somewhat normal person. XD I've somewhat started an exercise program, hopefully I'll stick to it. I'm tired of being lonely.

Hopefully you'll see more from me. Probably a bit more star trek stuff before I get back to snupin (i have one finished fic that I really need to finish the edits on), as star trek's eaten my brain and hey... any creative product is better than NO creative product. It'll be slash (mccoy/bones ftGQw) probably...And probably more art. I've done one art so far (yay, i really want to get back into drawing again) that you can view here, don't worry it's pretty much work safe.

Sorry for the rambling, but I'm just glad I was able to make this post. And sorry, my irrational self doesn't want to LJ-CUT this. *hugs flist* Thanks for putting up with me. Maybe when I'm 26, I'll be easier to handle. ^^

The first five people to respond to this post will get something made by me! My choice. For you.

This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:

- I make no guarantees that you will like what I make!
- What I create will be just for you, and it will be a one-of-a-kind item.
- It'll be done this year.
- You have no clue what it's going to be. It may be a story, I may bake something, or I may make a craft item - knitting, hand-made cards, cross-stitch - for you something and mail it to you. Who knows? Not you, that's for sure!
- I reserve the right to do something extremely strange.

The catch? Oh, the catch is that if you sign up, you must repost and make the same offer to your flist in return. We can all make stuff!!

*cough*
bronze_ribbons is the best~! 大一番! XD
That is all... =3 (more on that later. XD)

So my new year's day egg said I'd be traveling this year... Hope that's true, and hope it's to either Japan or Guatemala so we'll see. =D

If all goes according to plan, this semester will be my last at City College and then in the fall I shall be in SF State, God willing. I haven't made any official resolutions though I hope to get more fandom work done and be organized enough to expand to other fandoms that I follow. Also hope to blog more, and not put it off as I usually do.

My tentative school schedule is as follows:

Who Built America? From Reconstruction to Present - Monday Wednesday Friday - 10.00am - 11.00am

English 1A - Puente! - Monday Wednesday Friday - 11.00am - 12.00pm

Intro to Philosophy - Monday Wednesday Friday - 12.00pm - 1.00pm

Symbolic Logic - Monday Wednesday - 1.00pm - 3.30pm

Solar System - Tuesday Thursday - 2.00pm - 3.30pm

I'm going to have to drop a webdesign portfolio class as I don't have room for it and all these other classes are needed for me to transfer... Ah well... I need to at least pass all these with a C but really.... B or above would be great as my gpa is on the cusp of not being enough for transfer... ^^;;

At any rate, had a pretty good weekend. Went to what hopefully will be a monthly Sangria Party at Cha Cha Cha's. It was only Laura and I as everyone else seemed to be too busy. We went to the one in the Haight so we could walk around Golden Gate Park. Took some pics with an instant camera, dunno when I'll ever get around to sending it to Walgreens heh. We picked random trails and eventually hit the Museums area, got to see what the new Science one now looks like (with a living roof!). Debated ways to break in and steal stuff heheh. Then found the Children's Playground (which is now called Children's Quarter >_>) and found all my fave playing areas have been removed for more little kid friendly crap. =/ at least there's still sand and the stone slide...

But yeah, good food and good Sangria as always. We ordered the large pitcher (which is like 6 glasses easy) and couldn't NOT finish the thing. So yeah let's just say I probably was tipsy and Laura was near drunk. So we walked through haight, got ice cream, found our way to japantown and had a good time at Karaoke. ^_^ Wish the night didn't have to end but she had to be back on bart before midnight to get home, alas.

Yesterday was first day of classes and despite major walking back and forth across campus(map is flat but this is on a mountain x_x), it was a good day. Gave me hope that I'll get in the classes I need and do what i need to do to move on. Cause I seriously need to get on with my life,someway somehow.

Have 200 plus tabs to now get through, may not comment to all posts but just letting you know I am reading them. =D

OH, I was thinking of maybe making a group at GoodReads/Shelfari... And have it be for my flist (and then your flist most likely too XD) as I've been able to read more books of late and love to hear recs and see what else y'all are reading. I know I have got a couple of you on there (some at one, some at the other) so let me know if you're interested in that?

I think that's pretty much all I wanted to say... *hugs flist* Now to do homework and catch up on comments and emails...and finish belated snupin fic... XD

It's been a hectic past few days, real updates to come. *hugs flist* You all are fantastic and thank you so much for caring about me~! Happy Holidays all! ^_^

(wishlist gifts will be a few days late alas)

I know I flaked last year... That just means you'll get extra special holiday cards this year! XD

It will most likely be Christmas/Holiday themed but there's a chance you'll get it afterwards. ^^;; If your birthday is this or next month, let me know so i can wish you a happy birthday. =D

So comment with your name and addy, if you would like a drabble/drawble then also leave series name, character/pairing (no snarry or teacher/student please) and prompt! It doesn't have to be Harry Potter, and I know quite a bit of different fandoms so ask away (Seriously, I'm up for pretty much any fandom, but you can always list more than one)!

All comments are screened of course. ^_^

Oh, I definitely would love to get cards from y'all, but I think I missed some people's card posts, so drop me a link if you're still sending out. =D

No need to rub your eyes, yesh, this is a real post and not a Twitter summary~! ^_^ I've been wanting to write a proper post for a really long time but things kept getting in the way. Mostly projects. I feel bad to be posting when I have overdue projects to finish, so I tend to not post or respond to comments till I get at least one project done. I actually wanted to post this weekend before my birthday but alas the laptop doesn't like accepting wireless internet when I'm traveling. >_> Anyhoo first few things:

Happy Belated Birthday to anyone I've missed! If you'd like a drabble/drawble (I know I still owe people, they're actually finished, just haven't had a chance to post) let me know. ^_^
Congrats to anyone who graduated or finished their major! I dunno how y'all do it but wow. Good for you. =3
Also want to give a general apology to certain people. I'm sorry for being such a flake, I know I need to be better at keeping you up to date and staying on schedule. =/
I've been slowly catching up on everyone's journals but I prolly won't be commenting on them unless they were from the past few weeks. Hope everyone's well!

So much to say, yet not much really at all lol. My birthday was monday and I'm now a quarter century old. Thanks to everyone who's wished me happy birthday so far, it really made my day. ^___^ XD Sadly all my goals I had to before turning 25 have not been fulfilled. Hopefully I'll get them done soon. As a semi-last minute gift from my mom, we went down to Disneyland. I had a lot of fun despite my feet deciding to act totally against me lol. I should have pictures up soon. The digi-cam broke early on the 2nd day so I gotta wait till the instant cameras get processed. =/ I got lots of nice goodies tho most are either Princess Belle related or Pirate Princess related, hehe.

Currently in summer classes which are going okay. As long as I can pass I'll be very happy. After the fall semester, I'll only have the english classes to take before I can transfer to State. I'm debating on trying for a 1-4 year study in Japan. Honestly would rather do a semester but I don't think I can find anything like that. I just want to get my first degree so I can get a higher paying job that's more permanent and pertinent to what I want to do in life.

Fandom wise I've been passive in all my fandoms. And at the same time, wanting to join new fandoms. XD I'm hoping to have some finished pieces to show off rather soon. =3 And... I think I'll leave this post at that. I may in the next few hours or so post some meme posts so sorry in advance for spamming your flist. *hugs to all*